The Mindfulness Brick Wall

Brick WallI am fairly busy right now. When I think about all the things that I have to do, I feel anxiety.

The amount of activity and anxiety is nothing new. I have had many periods in my life when I have felt overloaded.

However, my reaction to the anxiety is different this time around. When I find worry taking over, I counter with mindfulness.

The pattern of thought usually goes like this: I begin to think about all the tasks that I need to do. I think about the little time that I have to do those tasks. I think about what tasks will not be done in that time. I think about the consequences of those tasks not being done. I think about how I can avoid that from happening by getting everything done on time. I think about all the tasks that I need to do. Repeat.

It used to be that loop would just continue until something else came up that distracted me. There were many times that I was fully aware that I was in the loop while it was occurring. But I felt like I could not do anything about it. Now, when I recognize that I am in that loop, I just focus on my senses. And that loop is stopped in its tracks.

Mindfulness is like a brick wall in the middle of a thought loop.

It is a great feeling of power. I feel as if I have a way to fight off thought patterns/loops, that I had no control over before.

Mindfulness helps me realize how wasteful worrying actually is.

Before, I just thought it was a fact of life that I would spend thought cycles feeling anxiety. Mindfulness makes me understand that I have a choice in the matter. And why would I choose to worry about something in the future when my expectations of what and how things occur, almost never directly match up with what actually happens?

Usually, the amount of work that I have to do is less than I expect. Deadlines are rarely missed. When they are, the consequences are never as bad as I anticipate. Worrying is a waste of time.

Unfortunately, I still do it. It is an ongoing battle. At least now, I have a way to fight back.

Photo courtesy of TheArtGuy 

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